In March of 2020 I lost all of my business for the next nine months. By April of 2020, I had lost most of the bookings I had for the early part of 2021, as well. By May, the rent was late, car payments were overdue, and bills were piling up on a small end table near the front door — few of which could get paid on time.
The phone wasn’t ringing with assignments. Emails weren’t being received for jobs. The freelance photography business I had spent two years building was in shambles, and so was I.
And I wasn’t alone, either.
Friends and colleagues were living the same reality. A few closed up all together, while others began a search for a new career path. A few brave souls decided to hunker down and ride the out the storm the best they could for as long as they could.
Many of those have been forced into finding a different line of work or shutting down by now.
I, however, sold most of my camera gear on a Thursday in June, getting what I could for it from a local camera shop. It wasn’t much, honestly. But I paid a few bills, bought a few groceries and put my camera bag away, perhaps for good, I thought.
Then, before long, that money was gone.
So, when a well-timed check arrived in late October, I planned on getting caught up on bills once again. But instead, I bought a new Fujifilm X-T3 body and three used lenses. I followed that up with a cheap set of LED lights from Amazon, along with a couple of Godox flashes and a command unit. I revamped an extra bedroom in my house to suit the needs of an office and brought my YouTube channel back to life.
I started writing on my blog again and began pitching article ideas to editors and publishers. I got into the habit of posting on Instagram regularly, too, and worked on updating my website. I switched to Capture One and renewed my subscription to FujiLove Magazine.
Was this being irresponsible given my circumstances? Perhaps.
Did this make sense to family and friends, or even myself, for that matter? Not at all.
But I had arrived at a crossroad in my life and my career, and I made a decision. A decision to live life inspired, to be the creative person I was born to be — and to never look back.
I couldn’t deny this reality about myself, try and pretend it wasn’t there or ignore it any longer. Now, at a moment when all sense of reason and logic told me I should do something else with this small amount of money — now is the time I decided to jump in with both feet.
And Fujifilm was a big part of this process, of this choice.
After having shot Fujifilm as a full-time photojournalist for years, I switched to another brand to meet the requirements of a large client just after launching my freelance photography business. It’s a decision I regretted, and since deciding to dedicate myself to my passions for photography and writing, to creating, I was determined to rectify this mistake.
You see, Fujifilm isn’t about specs to me. It’s not just a “tool” for the job, either. It’s just not.
Fujifilm is about inspiration and the experience of shooting. It’s about loving the process of creating an image, about telling a story with a photograph.
Sure, technically, Fujifilm cameras and lenses can hold their own against any other brand out there — and that’s wonderful. But what separates them from the others is something I just can’t explain. It’s a feeling, a yearning I get when I pick up the camera. A yearning to go out and take photographs for the passion and joy of taking photographs.
So here I am, sitting at this keyboard, in the early morning hours. On my desk to my left is an X-T3, a 35mm f/1.4, a 16mm f/1.4 and a 50mm f/2.
I make sure they’re out where I can see them all the time. I make sure they’re always there for me to pick up and shoot with, to pick up and enjoy, to pick up and be inspired by and hopeful about.
Admittedly, I’m terrified, like many of you, of what the future of our profession holds. I don’t know at all what to expect. I’m trying hard to keep myself and my loved ones as healthy as possible, too.
These are terrible times for myself and many of you. And yes… the rent is still late. The pile of bills still higher than it should be, and the phone isn’t ringing with bookings yet.
But oddly enough, I have a sense of peace in knowing what I am, in finally understanding and accepting this fact and then acting on it.
I am a creative and an artist.
I am Fujifilm photographer because these cameras and these lenses, they bring out the best of me, the best in me. They inspire me to create, to capture, to enjoy every click of the shutter. I simply love them.
Am I advocating you not pay your house payment in order to go buy a 50-140 f/2.8 lens? Of course not. What I am advocating, however, is for all of us to ask ourselves what inspires us? What moves us, what brings us joy and passion? Then, be courageous and have faith… and go out and do it.
For me, it’s this process of telling a story with an image, of capturing that moment, of documenting that split second in time with an X-T3 or an X100F or and X-Pro1. This is my passion, my calling… it is what I am.
What are you?
Whatever comes to mind; however you choose to answer that question, just go out and be it, live it, do it.
You’ll be glad you did.
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